Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Old Tale

This story was bought to mind by watching an episode of Poirot on Sky. It was one where he was mistaken for a newspaper celebrity that if a member of the public accosted him with a copy of the newspaper and stated that he was the said man, he would be rewarded with a cash sum.
Well, remember I mentioned the Carnival well in the Carnival Programme it stated something similar. It said something like. If you see Mr Personality carrying a programme and challenge him, you will win £5. It is only the first person to challenge him successfully but it runs for 6 days. Sunday to Friday.
Well this was I think in 1970. The programmes cost 1/- or 5p now.
I employed a young student who was always trying to catch me out. He never did though. I decided to get one over him. I have mentioned the Fish Shop over the road. The proprietor was not particularly friendly. It seemed that everyone who was new to business, they were ignored. It took me about 5 years before they realised that I was there to stay.
Well the Fish Shop sold wet fish on a Friday, I think that was the only day he sold wet fish. I had also noticed that he also wore a straw boater only of course when he sold wet fish.
Well I told this lad, who I got to know well worked with me in the kitchen. I suggested that he buy a programme because I knew who Mr. Personality would be but did not know exactly which day he would be the one. He didn't believe me at first but I convinced him so much that eventually he bought a programme.
I was very serious when I told him who it was. I made him promise me that he would never tell anyone. He agreed. I then told him that when the man in the Fish Shop wore his straw boater, he was then Mr. Personality for that day but he must hurry up because it was only the first person to challenge him successfully that won the £5.
Anyway the day came, a Friday, I told him as soon as I saw the straw boater on the Fishmongers head. He dashed over with his programme. It took me all my time not to laugh, anyway I didn't hear what went on but I saw. The l;ad came back red faced. I asked him if he got his £5. All he would say was that the Fish Shop man told him to piss off and not to be so bloody stupid and stop wasting his time.
I just laughed heartily, mind you he never tried to catch me out ever again.
By the way, yes that was the same Fish Shop man who became very friendly years later. More soon.

Friday, 10 December 2010

Slight Thaw

Just a quick note, today has been a little warmer, the temperature did reach 4c. That was as high as it managed and to be honest, walking was treacherous. My postman called and told me that a Lorry had just slipped off the road a few hundred yard away, I think it made him more careful.
Now to something different. L have had Sky since I came here and before that. As I have been here almost 18 years you have some idea as to how long. Anyway I have had Sky+ for several years but the last few months it has begun to play up. Finally all I had on my hard drive disc was 2 hours of recording time. I think it originally had 80 hours. I have never had a service contract as I do not think they are value for money. Originally it cost £50 a year, my mate's Brother has a contract and it costs him about £90 a year. Anyway I had through the post an offer stating that if I took a self set up. a H.D box would be sent free, also delivery would be free and for a bonus 2 months free viewing but I must sign up for a 1 year contract. As a call out would cost about £95 to repair my Sky+ with no guarantee that it would last, I decided to order the H.D.Box. Yesterday my mate came and set it all up and got it working. All I had to do was ring Sky so that they could authorise the card so that it worked.
Yes now I have H.D. T V. Am I impressed? NO not really, to be honest I can not see much difference at all. Mind you I do not see too good, however the good thing is that I have a new box with a new remote control. Am I pleased that I changed? Yes but whether I carry on after the 1 year I am not sure. I think too much has been made about H.D.T.V. Still it may be me. Perhaps after a few weeks I will change my mind. More soon.

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Dogs

No! I haven't gone to the dogs, well I don't think so but this is about dogs. A friend will understand.
Now as anyone who reads this blog will realise that I am on toxic drugs. This means that I have to have regular blood tests. At first it was every 14 days then gradually to every month now after about 2 years I am allowed to have a blood test every 3 months. I tell this because I used to get the same Nurse to take my blood. We became friendly and eventually she would talk of other things. I take her tomato plants each year. She told me about her Parrot. She was upset because she had only bought the parrot less than 6 months. The cost was £1000. Well she decided to buy another young Parrot. Her husband started to train it to talk with the odd expletive but she was and is thrilled that the bird is talking and very much a part of the family. Again this cost £1000. She bought photos to show me, she had an old Labrador and a young poodle . I remarked that it looked like an Apricot Poodle, she confirmed to me that it was. I remarked that they were not common at all.
Well early this year, she told me that her husband and her had discussed whether to let her dog(bitch) have a litter of pups. She knew of a dog Poodle which was Apricot. Now remember I am now not seeing her too often. The next time I saw her, she had took her bitch to the dog, she told me the first time her bitch was not cooperative at all but the next time she laughed and told me she could not get to the dog soon enough. She told me the coupling was good and although a second meeting was advised, she was sure that it had been a success. The cost she told me was £50. If tit was a blank, no refund was given.
I was angry because I went to see my Consultant at Louth Hospital and he wished me to have a blood test immediately. I went back to my local surgery but my regular nurse was not available. I saw another who I knew well. I was telling her about the other Nurse and her Poodle, she then told me that she had been with her Granddaughter to see the pups. 9 originally but 2 died. She then told me that her Granddaughter was disappointed because the Parrot did not talk. I told her that it was perhaps just as well as the parrot sometimes swore. We laughed.

Now luckily enough the other day I went for a blood test. Yes it was with my old Nurse. She gave me all the information and showed me the photos. They looked cute. She had 7 surviving dogs 5 bitches and 2 dogs. Originally when we discussed the cost of the pups. The woman whose dog was used told the Nurse to advertise them on the Internet and charge £700 each. She told me that she didn't think they would sell. I told her about my younger Sister. She wanted a Chihuahua, I told her I called it a glorified rat but everyone to their taste. I could not remember just how much she paid but it was well over £200. This was about 6 years ago. Now my Sister lives in Scotland and I told her she came to Wragby to get this dog, they called it Wragby after the place it was purchased. That cheered her up a bit.
Now she told me that she advertised them on the Internet. Young bitches £750 and the dogs £700 for each one. She told me that for a week, nothing then they were inundated with enquiries. She told me that she had 2 left. One dog was sold and would be collected shortly and she was keeping one for herself. Now she had to register them with the Kennel Club. She told me this was costly. I never ask anything about price so I do not know how much it costs. She told me that there is an annual fee but it was not too expensive. I asked her if she was going to put her bitch to a dog again, she told me that it was highly unlikely but the young bitch she is keeping will perhaps be put to a dog eventually.
Finally this brought to me a good colleague who passed away several years ago. He used to come in to my place every weekday, he was a window cleaner but never charged me at all as I always gave him his morning tea, we used to have a little get together putting the world right, there would be about 6 of us. Anyway one day when we were alone, he told me that him and his wife was going to make a fortune. I asked him with what and it was sometime before he told me. He was going to breed dogs. Now they had a Pekineses bitch, he had shown it a couple of times. He told me a judge went over to see them and told them they would not win until they had been showing for about 6 months, the bitch was a beautiful dog and would certainly start to win regular. When he told me this. I told him that if he made any money, I would pull my hair out by the roots. Well unfortunately they spent a fortune preparing everything but unfortunately did not have Internet access so they failed dismally. Mind you I did not realise just how much money some folks will pay for pedigree dogs. I hope my friend from the Peak District is taking notice. Enough of this for tonight. More soon.

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Carnival

This was reminded to me by my American friend whose blog is well worth a look. Far better than mine.
Anyway, when I first started my business in the late 60s early 70s there was what was called a Carnival Parade. This had been going on for quite a few years before I started. It was always the case, most locals moaned stating that the Carnival, which ran for a week was not of any use to the youngsters as they were at school. It was also known as the last week of the season. It was originally started to prolong the Summer Season another week. Carnival week started the first Monday in September, the children going back to school on the Tuesday. The Parade itself was on the following Saturday. This day was a little better than the preceding 5 because they were of little or no use at all.
In those early days, most Holiday Camps closed their door at the end of September, the last 2 weeks were reserved for owners only. There were a couple of private sites that closed on October 15th. It was then a long winter.
Over the years though Holiday Camp sites changed hands and the season was extended to the end of October. This did make the season last although in general, it was only at the week ends that trade was brisk. The Parade which was always on the last day was altered. It was then decided that the Carnival would be in I think early August and the Parade was on the Sunday, really starting the Carnival week.
Over the years, there were many regulars who came to take part. I remember one in particular. A fellow dressed up as Old Mother Riley. He was very good. He used to come in and have lunch every season. It was as I was nearing my lease end that he told us that reluctantly this was to be his final appearance as it was getting too much for him. I decided to give him the meal and a thank you for the pleasure that he had given so many, and of course the monies that he had helped to generate for charities.
The most complaints we had was the distance that the Parade took. Many were children of tender years and to march. or rather walk for about 90 minutes was too much for them. It was really well supported though.
Unfortunately the last few years, I lost contact as I was on the sea front with my business so missed the Parade.
I will tell you this though, there was one display of a Spitfire, it was to fly past the playing fields. As I was on the sea front, I had a perfect view. It was brilliant as it did 2 fly pasts. I can not just remember how much it was but the organisers told me that the insurance was astronomical and it was definitely a one off. I managed to see it for free. a sight I will never forget. I guess this was in 1994 or thereabouts. More soon.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Record Temperatures

What a few days we have had here in the U.K. On Friday morning the temperature at 11.00am was minus 4c. do believe this is about 24f. Today has been even colder, I went out for my State Pension at 9.30am and the temperature was minus 6c. 21f. I was not fortunate enough to get all of my State Pension as the Post Master informed me that he had not had a delivery since last Wednesday so he had to restrict everyone because there was a shortage of money. I have never known anything like this at the seaside and I have lived here over 40 years.
Yesterday my postman called, he told me that it was the first day he had delivered mail to me since Wednesday last week. On Thursday and Friday, the sorting office was instructed not to venture out at all, on Saturday the country deliveries were suspended but the town deliveries went ahead. So it seems as if most things ground to a halt.
I did manage to get out on Sunday though to get some fresh mil a d bananas. I planned today that as I was going to the dentist, I would call on at the local shop and get some vegetables. Unfortunately the veg shop was closed. To be honest, I thought it might be as they sell produce from their Son and Daughter's small holding near Boston.
I eventually went to the Dentist, he told me that the temperature this morning when he set off was minus 15c about 5f. He then told me that he had about 2ft of snow where he lived and could not get to work until yesterday. I guess we have to be thankful for living near the sea as all we had was about 6" After all of that he finally extracted my loose tooth, he told me that he thought it was broken but he was not going to dig the root out, this suited me. He then suggested to me that I wait for an addition to my plate because he could not guarantee the plate would be returned before Christmas. I agreed so I have another appointment in early January.
My mate who lives in Skegness informed me that his Mother is not well. To be honest, I just don't know how she has lived for so long. The last time I saw her she was very frail. Anyway, all this means is that I do not know if he will be calling to see me this week. I have been fortunate really as he comes about once a fortnight and brings me what I have ordered. All I do is feed him and if there are any jobs I want doing he readily does them for me. It may be that I will have to go to visit him myself if he cannot get to me. I have told him, he must not leave his Mum alone for long. More soon.

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Weather

The cancellation of Lincoln Christmas Market reminded me of a story my Accountant gave me many years ago. To put you in the picture as to my Accountant's mind worked I will just say this. He once told me that he could not save me any money at all as I was single. However if I had a house full of kids he could save me lots. I remarked that if I had a houseful of kids, I would not be in business.
Not to the story. He always called to see me on Boxing Day every year. This Boxing Day, I guess it would be around 1983, he came in and we were having a drink of coffee when he said to me that I was in the wrong trade. I asked him to explain more. He then said something like this. " You know the new Lincoln Market?"I said yes although I did not know of it's existence. He went on" This man who is a one man band went there to sell the Father Christmas hats. I guess you have seen them, they are all the rage." I must admit that they were seen in abundance so I said I had seen them. He then went on to say " He bought them at 25p each and sold them at 50p each and made £5000 profit." I asked him in how many days did he take to sell them. He retorted, that this was in a day. I immediately said to him " Never on your life, it is impossible to take that sort of money being a one man band especially as the Market was only open for about 5 hours and I think at the time was only a 2 day Market" He told me that he was only there for a day, I then started to work things out. I told him that to make £5000 he would have to sell 10,000 hats. he readily agreed. I then suggested to him that to make things easier to work out, I would say that he worked for 5 hours a day for 2 days making a sale of 1000 hats on an average in 1 hour. I reminded him that this would mean about 1 hat every 4 seconds maximum. I suggested to him that he could not give the change to the customers in such a short time as everyone would not have a 50p piece handy. I then reminded him that this was for 5 hours continuous serving, not taking into consideration as to how the hats would be packed. I presumed in boxes of 144. This would mean over 30 boxes to be stored and of course opened when more were needed. I told him it just was not possible to do as a one man unit, and this was giving extra time to what he had been told. Anyway after about 2 minutes of silence, he looked at me and then said, " You are right, if you put it that way it is definitely not possible." I then said to him ,"What other way can one put it?" He then said to me that on reflection it was a silly thing he had been told and told me to forget it.
I mentioned this to my best pal, he told me that most Accountants worked on figures and not logic. Just put a lot of figures in front of them and they will work out all sorts of permutations he told me. He also told me that there are 3 necessary evils in this world. Estate Agents, Solicitors and Accountants. I just said to him, I wonder if I was the biggest fool for employing him. Unfortunately, all Accounts had to be presented to the local Tax office by an Accountant. At that time, most towns in England had a local Income Tax office. The nearest one to me was about 20 miles away. Anyway I didn't try to sell any Father Christmas hats. More soon.

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Windows part 2

As I had to wait until I had enough money to have built an extension instead of the conservatory it was 2 years but was well worth it, apart from the John Carr windows. Eventually I decided to have one front window taken out and French Doors in UPVC fitted in the place where the window was. I also had a front door fitted in UPVC. I had originally an entrance lobby, small but it was draughty. It certainly stopped much of the draughts. Then one by one I had all the other windows replaced. By now the local Council had jumped on the band wagon and insisted that all new replacement double glazing had to be inspected by one of their representatives, at a cost to anyone who has had them fitted. I can't remember just how much it cost but they send a certificate stating they comply with Building Regulations. Anyway I had them all done with the exception of my garage window and door. My mate has an account with a UPVC windows and doors firm so he ordered a new door and window, he did the fitting and I was just the labourer. As it went well he suggested, about 4 years ago that we could replace the soffits fascia barge boards and guttering. This, he said would finally complete the whole bungalow.
We started the work in November, it was cold but he knew what he was doing, we stripped everything down except the gable ends. It took us about 3 days to complete, his brother took the old guttering away. I kept the main barge boards for the edging to a path. The only snag we hit was when we came to fit the guttering on. It started to rain, it is surprising just how much water runs off the roof. We both were soaked but we did finish it.
By the way, the whole lot cost us less than $1000. oop. Quotes were around £4500 and all they would do is attach the plastic to the existing wood. Anyway all I have is one door that is not connected to the property, whether I will change that I doubt very much. The best of it is, now all I have to do is wash the plastic down occasionally and it still comes up like new. Much cheaper and far less work than painting.
Had a phone call today from the Dental Surgery, I have another appointment date, next Tuesday. He was not at work again today, the receptionist told me that there was 14" of snow where he lives. More soon.